Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
