Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
