are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize