I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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