i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
love makes seman taste better
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
