i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Help. Why am I so naked?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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