so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
