Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize