you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
