chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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