When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
