Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize