So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
