Dual....:-)
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
