I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize