she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
