when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
