hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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