im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
