He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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