using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
