Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i will never coherently bang her
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize