it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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