A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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