Need sex. Gaining weight.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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