do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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