Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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