Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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