she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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