I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I look better un-naked...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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