i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
