my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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