everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize