the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
