So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
