He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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