you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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