Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
