It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She is in my trunk
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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