i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
