We're facebook friends in real life
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
