its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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