The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
