i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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