Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
There r osticjed everywhere
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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