Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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