you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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