when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
