It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
