How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
