He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize