Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
