Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
