I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
