and you said cock pushups were impossible
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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