I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize