i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize