I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
