i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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