the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
