xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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